Meat
Red Meat is the main protagonist of the Parody Rangers series, and has been the Red Dragon Ranger (x2), Red Space Ranger, and Red Steam Ranger throughout the course of the series. Personality Meat is the main hero of the series. He is overly-enthusiastic about being a ranger, and is seen with a wide grin on his face most of the time. The only times that he has been truly distraught or depressed was on three occasions; Willy moving away, the Rangers disbanding and the new, Ultimate Zords to not induce an orgy when the Megazord is made. Meat is not very bright, and has a somewhat childish perspective on the world. However, he is grown up enough to have a working knowledge of sex, which he is implied to enjoy greatly. Appearance Meat has red hair and Caucasian skin. He wears a white shirt with the word "Meat" written on it in red, red pants, and black shoes. History The Episodes Meat, along with his best friend Willy, were recruited by Alpha to be Power Rangers. Zordon pointed out that Meat plus Willy only made two, and the Alpha only recruited them because they looked "So pretty and colourful". Narrowly avoiding Zordon's wanting to kill them, Meat went back to school and recruited Pinky, while Willy recruited Mace and Chan. Meat returned with a full team of 5, which Zordon deems, "Close Enough". Meat is then given the power of the Red Dragon, making him the leader of the group. During an attack on Angel Grove, Meat reveals that his weapons are a pair of Nunchaku, which he is questionably proficiant at using. After disposing of the Putty Ninjas; Ling, Ping, Ching and Frank, Meat and the Team are confronted by Monsters. After disposing of the first two, Domo the Monster grows to amazing size, to which Meat responds with summoning the Zords. The individual Zords prove no effect (although they did not put up a fight in the first place) so Meat resorts to forming the Megazord, a process that Meat quickly compares to "Getting Laid". In the second episode, Meat is very angry when Willy moves away and is replaced by his gay older brother Billiam, and tries to adapt to the change, and even puts Bulk and Skull in a chokehold in anger. After being defeated by the mysterious Green Ranger, Meat and the others' confidence faded away, causing them to go emo for a brief moment. After getting powered up at the Hidden Powerfully Powerful Temple of Powerness, Meat attempts to get the Green Ranger to side with them, even fanatasizing that the Green Ranger is actually someone who resembles him. However, when the Green Ranger reveals his identity as Vector, Meat and the other Rangers are sent into space due to Zordon's shock causing the Earth to split apart. By the third episode, Meat and the other Rangers with Vector's corpse have been floating around in space for a few months until they stumble upon the Hamster King's sunflower seed-resembling space center. Meat was so excited to learn that Willy was there that his head fell off. During the Ranger upgrade, Meat remained as the Red Ranger but was saddened that his Megazord really wasn't the same as it the old version was. He was also saddened when Billiam sacrificed himself to save Mace from King Stan's laser. Finally, Meat fights Lord Zett on a moon rock and nearly gets killed by him, but he then has a hallucination about Jason Lee Scott. Jason told Meat to not give up and go up to evil's face and go "wha-bam!" Meat then punches Zett really hard in the face, causing him to leave. Then, King Stan unleashed the paradox bomb, and all the events of the third episode were erased up to the point where Vector revealed his identity. Meat told Zordon to close his eyes and when Vector removes his helmet, he punches his head off. However, he and the other Rangers were upset that Zordon and Alpha had already replaced them with another line of Power Rangers. Movie Meat, along with the other Rangers, Bulk, and Skull, participated in the skydiving contest for charity, but they forget to launch their parachutes. They were then seen heavily bandaged and roller-blading, where Alpha then called Meat and the other Rangers back to base. They are then instructed to go to the construction site, and find Evan Splooge, who has been awakened by Lord Zett. They fight Splooge and his little rat aliens, and eventually morph into their Ranger forms. Though they are able to destroy Splooge's minions, their powers are soon taken away after Splooge's attack on Zordon. Meat is the most distraught out of them all, and cries waterworks, and yells at Billiam for trying to calm him down. He then separates from the rest of his friends in sadness. After the Rangers' disbanding, Meat becomes the star of energy drink commercials. Even though he is highly successful, he still misses the others and upon learning that Zordon is still alive from Evan Splooge's attack, he calls the other Rangers and they remeet at base, but learn that Zordon has gotten very weak and Alpha has been taking care of him. Alpha then sends to Planet Buut2dahed so they can reclaim their lost Ranger powers and get even more powerful than they ever were. After getting there, Meat promptly throws up from traveling. They were then ambushed by Evan Splooge's vultures, but are saved by Dulcy Tia, who immediately becomes Meat's love interest. They then come back to Dulcy's palace and Meat refuses to sleep, but then Dulcy announces that they are now going to be doing the scene that people will watch over and over, and removes her clothes, much to Meat's pleasure. Soon enough, a ridiculous sex scene is involved where Meat does Dulcy, Willy does Pinky, and Mace does Chan. Even in outer space, Zett and Nekoneko are doing it. The next day, Meat wakes up dressed in a red version of Naruto Uzumaki's costume. He is also shocked that Dulcy is really a robotic owl. Later on, after their journey to their new Zords is disrupted by a penis-resembling sculpture, they make it after 26 episodes (further mocking Naruto) and defeat three guardian statues by just making battle stances. Their new Zords then arrive, but they are really just steam engines from Thomas and Friends, which causes Meat's eyeballs to fall out of his sockets. He remains eyeless for the rest of the incarnations in the series. However, their powers are restored as the Steam Engine Rangers and they use their new Zords to return to Earth. When they arrive back at the command center, Alpha tells them that Zordon has died, but really he was just pretending. Alpha then allows the other Rangers to beat up Zordon. After that, they gear up for the fight against Splooge's monsters, the Hornytron and the Vaginator. Billiam manages to destroy the Vaginator, but Splooge possesses the Hornytron and takes the battle to space, where Meat has the Zords form together to make a Megazord. Soon, they are joined by Lord Zett, Nekoneko, Renaldo, and Flyguy. The Rangers combine their Megazord with Zett and Renaldo's Zords, but it's still not powerful enough to stop Splooge. Luckily, they get some help from Mickey Mouse who unleashes a portal filled with an army of Power Rangers, which defeats Splooge and sends him crashing back down to Earth. At the celebration party, the Rangers are unsure of what to do with their lives and Meat tosses out both Booch, Jr. and Zett into the river, the former wanting to be a Power Ranger and Zett asking when the next movie will be made. During the end credits, it said that Meat disappeared from society but he is heard that at night, he goes up to evil's face and goes "WHA-BAM!" Trivia *He thinks that Zordon saying "Rangers, there's a giant cookie destroying the city" is really funny, even when he is in near death. *His Renaldo Rangers counterpart is Renaldo (but muscular and cool like Meat), and his Zord is the Renaldo Plane. Meat also made a cameo as a scrawny, nerdy kid who looked up to Renaldo. *He is a parody of Jason Lee Scott, who was the Red Ranger of the original series, and Jason himself appears as a hallucination to Meat in episode 3. *After seeing the talking steam engine Zords, his eyeballs fell out of their sockets and he remains that way for the rest of the movie as well as the April Fool's flash. He has also gotten a little bit more mature. *Meat flexed his arms a lot in the first two episodes, but he stopped doing it onwards, another sign of maturity. *He is basically the strongest and heaviest of all the Rangers, as well being the dumbest. *According to Chris Niosi's Tumblr, Meat's eye colour will never be specified. Category:Rangers Category:Protagonists Category:Red Rangers